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There is no pan-Asian mold for looks, just as there is no Asian rule book for behavior or personality — our personalities are just as complex as our cultural and ethnic differences.Creating safe spaces online where ugly prejudices can't show face is critically important.

That's the dilemma so many Asian women face when they delve into the world of digital dating.The ultimate goal should be to banish negative ethnic stereotypes once and for all.For Asian women, that includes not reducing a complex person into a fantasy all the while erasing diversity within Asian communities.With a curvy figure and tanned skin, she said, "It's like I shattered these guys' expectations of what a beautiful Asian woman should be."There are also expectations of how an Asian woman should behave.As Karen Eng famously wrote in "The Yellow Fever Pages" in 2000, "The fantasy Asian is intelligent yet pliable, mysterious yet ornamental ... she comes from a culture where women traditionally serve men." The stereotyping cuts both ways, with Asian men feeling the effect of prejudice when dating online.

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