Personal dating profiles for sale

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Did you sign up for this dating site while sitting at a red light? If you had time to create a profile and log in, then you have the time to fill out the profile, jackass. Online dating is not Amazon Prime with free two day shipping of a brand new girlfriend. You’re trying to make yourself look good, not lame. Say you love horror films and underwater archaeology, Civil War reenactments, and brewing your own bathtub mint juleps. Do you spend a lot of time thinking about how you’d survive the zombie apocalypse, or if there’s life on other planets? Think in terms of meeting someone and getting to know them instead of going on a date. Say something interesting, even if you don’t want to share anything too personal. If you’re an open book, you might be willing to admit that you wet your bed until you were 15 or that you want to nail your first cousin. DO NOT write, “Message me if you like what you’ve read.” We get that. Quote a movie, leave a recipe for bundt cake, leave your hat size. DO NOT use a picture of just you and someone of the opposite sex. If you’re really good at taking up space on the couch and burning through Lifetime movies, then I can tell you why you’re single. Have you never been given a compliment in your life?

If you don’t have any hobbies or interests, again, this is why you’re single.

I have never been offended by a guy who politely and respectfully told me he was only interested in a physical relationship.

Just like some people are more attractive than others, some products and services are also more naturally appealing to buyers than others.

As the wise prophet Pat Benatar said, “Love is a battlefield.” You gotta play smart and that means using all the tools at your disposal. DO NOT wear a hat and sunglasses in your profile pic, either. Why would you do that unless you’re a couple looking for a threesome or are polyamorous? And don’t use a picture of you and a baby, unless it’s yours. Has no one ever complimented your looks or personality?

Where conventional dating is more like a water balloon fight, online dating is like storming the beaches at Normandy. Here’s some simple advice on filling out a dating profile on OKCupid. No one wants to hunt through your profile to find out they’re your sibling/cousin/goddaughter/best friend. Again, we don’t want to dig around to find out they’re your nephew/cousin/godson/best friend. No one cares about your scenic vacation photos, not even if you consider yourself a “photographer”.

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