Invalidating people

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When that old “friend” who contacts me to arrange a meet up gets disappointed because I’m just “no fun anymore” and tells me that maybe all I really need is a good night out. With his hands now on my knees, he tells me: “Sex will really help you. Believe me, I know this, and it is for that reason I do struggle so much on a day-to-day basis. “Samantha, you have a whole load of depressing books in your house. ” she finally says, eyes crushed together tightly in confusion. I connect with the characters and they help me not to feel so alone,” I reply.Here are six ways people have invalidated or patronized my illness: 1. Instead, I like a good night in with Disney movies, hot chocolate and books. My doctor, who has known me since I was a teen, has a full history of my lengthy childhood abuse, and a later rape I suffered in my 20s. I’m depressed, I don’t come from a different planet than you. Unless of course those words are “You have nothing to be depressed about, Sam.” Wow, you know what… An abusive, drunken, violent and absent father, sexually abused at 9, lived a secret and “shameful” life with OCD for over 15 years, constantly controlled by BPD emotions, have now been housebound for five years because too much trauma and no treatment has lead me to where I am today.When my mum comes to visit, she believes I’m depressed because I don’t get enough sunlight, or is it because I don’t drink enough water? (Sorry Mum, I know you love me and only want me to “get better,” but those kind of solutions are no good for me.) 2. He should not be trying to engage with me in such a way, not when I am there to talk about my depression. How dare you tell me that I have nothing to be depressed about. When that woman across the street tells me that I have so much to live for and that there are people far worse off than me.

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When I try to explain to people that my depression is far and wide like an ocean, that I cannot see the end to it, just the beginning, they look at me with panic in their eyes.

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As a person who has major depressive disorder, I’ve noticed almost everyone around me seems to believe they’re very insightful when the topic of my depression arises. “Won’t you just try to help yourself, Samantha.” If this woman knew anything about depression, then she would know I am trying to help myself; I’m trying so hard that even on days when I want to curl up and die, I instead take out a book to try to distract my mind.

“The average used car buyer could find there are modifications they’re simply not aware of.

“Typically, modifications are anything which isn’t standard on a car, which could include alloy wheels, a satellite navigation system or even tinted windows – so it’s always worth checking what the factory standard is for your model of car to avoid landing in hot water when it comes to making a claim.” Mr Oliver added: “Under two percent of drivers are claiming to have car modifications, but we estimate this figure to be much greater, which leaves potentially millions of drivers open to invalidating their insurance and having their claims rejected.

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