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It may also indicate a possibly hopeful movement in the social dynamics of dating: women are getting comfortable messaging first, and the system isn’t punishing them for it. Moreover, she said, “we only observe what people do, we don't know why they are doing it.

Also, we only observe the earliest stage of dating among people who meet online.

Kicking out the first message on a dating app is always an intimidating prospect, and you might feel especially dumb if the person never writes back.

But according to new research, your inclination to message first may mean you are trying to hook someone out of your league.

This is your first impression, and it’s important you get it right. Do Be Specific and Personalize Your Message When reaching out to a match, you should show them that you’ve actually read their profile by personalizing your message.

Being generic won’t win you many points or responses.

A little self-awareness shows you to be the honest-to-goodness real-deal amongst a crowd of frauds and phonies.

Just remember, it takes confidence to be able to admit fault.

For the first message, keep it crisp, clean, and correct. Don’t Talk Too Much Your message shouldn’t be a long diatribe about your career, your interests, and your hopes for romance—it should be about the person you’re contacting. This is a case where less is more (but definitely say more than just “Hi.”).For women, however, no more than an undergraduate degree was “desirable.” (The researchers controlled here for age, given that women are usually older once they undertake additional study.)“Sure, this is confirming some of our worst cliches,” said Bruch, adding that she herself “struggled” with the results of the study.But she said it was important to remember that the research simply captured overall patterns, and did not include “submarkets” of desirability, in which people can still have highly successful dating lives.When it comes to online dating, concise is the new sexy. Don’t Be Anyone Other Than Yourself When online, it can be tempting to exaggerate, to don a mask and present yourself as someone other than who you are.However, this is not only disingenuous, it’s poor dating strategy. When composing your message, give an accurate representation of yourself—good, bad, and ugly—to get a positive response.

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