Funny internet dating descriptions

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Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi... On my days off, you'll either find me playing hockey or belting out show-tunes with my 6-month-old nephew Max.He says we should take our act on the road, but I think he needs to brush up on his harmonies first.According to my sister, the girls I've met in the "real world" have been less-than-stellar (even though I thought my dating life was perfectly fine! So at her request, I've decided to try something completely new and jump into the world of online dating. I'm 28 years old and work as a unit clerk at a local hospital. I like to spend my evenings watching re-runs of Felecity while sipping on a glass of Chardonnay.I can honestly say that I love my job because it gives me the opportunity to connect with people on a daily basis. I play a mean game of rock-paper-scissors (was the national champion for 2 years straight), and love the smell of pop tarts in the morning (part of a complete breakfast!I'm the type of person who likes to seize opportunities and make the most of every day. Sarcastic, sophisticated, witty, dorky, sensitive and free-spirited. You should message me if you are Smart, Sexy, Sophisticated, Sassy and Spontaneous.Above all else, I value honesty and kindness in a partner, so if you're a genuine person with a lust for life, send me a message! (Bonus points if you have over eight years of experience as a forklift operator.) Example 5: Straightforward and Down-to-Earth I'm a graduate of Texas Christian University, where I majored in Post-Modern Literature. 80% of the time you'll find me with my nose deep in a book (except on Sunday nights from 9 - 10 PM when Breaking Bad is on - GO HEISENBERG! Travelling is also a major passion of mine, and I spend a lot of my free-time planning out future adventures. I have an 18 month old german shepherd named Ringo - he unfortunately lost one of his legs in a car accident, but he's still the cutest thing on the planet!

Imagine the luxury of going grocery shopping at 10 AM on a Wednesday morning: fully stocked shelves, no lines... :) I am very close to my family and I make sure to spend at least one day a week doing something fun with my siblings. Ok, maybe not, but I'm sure he'd love the flavor of my home-made gnocci. I hope to one day go vacationing on Mars as I've heard the mountains are glorious. Full of random (and oftentimes useless) information. After the show, I'll whisk you away to a private beach resort in St.In a nutshell, this means I get to fly across the country and make posts about our company on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.The traveling is exciting, however the nature of my job has sorta, kinda turned me into an internet addict.If you answered 'yes' to either question', then I'm afraid there's no way we'll get along, sorry!Now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, let me introduce myself...

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