Delayed response online dating
Miller told me recently that she still gets around 100 notifications every day from people responding to that 14-month-old passing thought, which she initially saved to her drafts folder because she thought it was “a little too niche.” I was thinking about that tweet as I read an essay with an irresistible (to me) headline: “Do You Want to Be Known for Your Writing, or for Your Swift Email Responses? In the piece, which was published by the online literary magazine Catapult, author Melissa Febos writes about the many and varied ways our behavior around email is making our lives worse.
The essay is wide-ranging, but what most captured my attention was this line: “Stop apologizing for taking a reasonable length of time to respond to an email.” How many times did you write a version of that — “Sorry for the delayed response! I’ve written it twice: One was in response to an email sent yesterday afternoon, the other in response to one sent two days ago.
I’m so sorry for taking this long to write you back. And the most fifth grade fear of all: will you be mad at me? One day, drowning in electronic apologies, it hit me: I have the curse of the e-Good Girl. But if you’re the kind of person who worries about disappointing others, who wants to be liked, who wants to do everything right, a mounting pile of email lights your Good Girl issues up like a Christmas tree.
I was away for a few days and am digging out from the emails that piled up! I need to confess something: If even a few days go by without me replying to you, I start to worry. When I stop and think about it, I realize that letting four or five days go by before responding to you is actually not a big deal. ), I’ve gotten warped about what “a long time” really means.
It’s just that answering email is so darn attractive.
It was Saturday morning and we were both trudging through our inbox (yes, the word “Saturday” is what is wrong with that sentence).Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being the nicer, gentler sex online.Relationship building is a vital “soft skill” that gets you ahead in all areas of life.You’ll be okay, and if you’re not, we’ll talk about it, right? Herring’s research shows, you’re more likely to be supportive and pepper me with emoticons. So I’m really sorry to do this, but I need to start choosing myself, and my productivity, over a quick reply.