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I hope that you will incorporate these character traits into your “type” going forward.
Carrie Cole is a certified therapist and director of research at The Gottman Institute.
Does this person make you feel important by following through with promises and commitments?
The important components in good relationships are interest and curiosity about your partner, the ability to be introspective and hold yourself accountable for your contribution to problems, trustworthiness, and the ability to commit.
Every week, Gottman’s relationship experts will answer your most pressing questions about navigating relationships — with romantic partners, family members, co-workers, friends, and more. Send it to Q: I find that I typically date people with similar personalities, and it never works out with them.
I don’t think there’s anything particularly toxic about the character traits that attract me to them, but a part of me feels like maybe I need to try dating a different type and see if it would work better.
Does this person treat you and others with dignity and respect? Can this person listen to your struggles in the relationship?
How do they bring up issues that are troubling to them? Do they accept responsibility for their part in things not going well?