Dating someone with childhood trauma
Being married to that person requires a constant hold on the wheel in order to avoid the destruction of the survivor and ultimately the relationship and everyone else in the car. The crash comes with a jolt of emotion and anger so strong that everyone around must run for safety or endure emotional distance that threatens their own sense of attachment.
The emotional outburst of the complex trauma survivor, who has not delved into the work of learning to emotionally regulate, is a force in itself.
The test of faithfulness and steadfastness will not come without pain to the spouse.
Connecting with this person will require an accurate application of love that is completely selfless. We in this culture are taught to expect good feelings in exchange for our love.
People in general will seek what is familiar even unto death.
We tend to live very unaware of the unconscious process that powers our lives and dictates our so called choices.
Even as success in relationship begins to take root the need to self-sabotage will kick in to steal any reward.
The pain of watching a loved one continue down this path is traumatizing in itself.
He waits and waits in anxious anticipation, trying to prevent every previous trigger from happening again.
Trying to be perfect without losing his sense of self and responsibility, without losing touch with reality, this is what it means to “walk on eggshells.”Attaching oneself to a person who has suffered abandonment and complex trauma may seem like a fruitless endeavor.
No apology offered because in her mind the reaction was about survival and in a survival state all reactions makes sense.
He can only wait until the next trigger sets off the bomb again.