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But one thing that comes up, time and time again, that I see my clients stressing out about is the level of detail and optimization that they put into the written part of their profiles. Now, would it be MORE motivating to you if I said “I need you to come to the living room to pick out your house” versus saying “Please come to the other room with me in order to select your new home”? Your profile is your first impression, and it can either intrigue them and make them want to dig in further, or it can instantly repel them and make them keep scrolling through other romantic options. It means that if you hate your life, you don’t feel fulfilled, and you aren’t proud of yourself and you think that finding a partner will jumpstart the dead battery of your life, then anything that you write in your profile will likely reek of sadness, desperation, and neediness. I’m going to start this section off with a quote, because Honest Abe said it better than I ever could. Instead of hacking away at a tree with a dull blade, Lincoln would ensure that his axe was as sharp as possible so that each and every swing was that much more effective in taking down the tree.

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And yet, even though I’ve had a profile on my website of choice for those seven years, I’ve only had it appearing as active for less than four months total. Because whenever I activate my profile, it gets responses so quickly, and I find a romantic partner that I’m excited about so efficiently, that I inevitably end up shutting down the page (generally) in less than a week or two.

Often we think that things about us are flaws because one or more of our past partners shamed us around our greatest strengths and gifts.

It might have happened so consistently that we started to believe that it was, indeed, a flaw in us.

OKCupid, Lava Life, and Plenty Of Fish also have a lot of users and have somewhat overlapping user bases (in terms of the demographic that they each serve).

Other websites also have relatively large user bases (JDate, Christian Mingle, etc.) but they have unique niches attached to them.

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