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He spends weeks trying to tell if she likes him back. after days of building up his courage he makes his move.
That, of course, is when he discovers that she’s dating someone else.
The nice guy nice guy doesn’t get a chance because, frankly, he never gets in the game in the first place. One of the most famous studies on the appeal of men with high levels of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism focused on the halo effect – the way that one’s appearance affects how others perceive you.
Narcissists in particular, tend to be perceived as more attractive than other people.
In fact, for many men, that eagerness crosses the line from “easy going” to “desperate for approval” and “afraid to rock the boat”.
While there is a lot to be said for somebody that’s easy to get along with, a push-over who over-values the opinions of others is, frankly, not that attractive.
For example: Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a shy nice guy has a crush on an attractive woman.
Nor is it a case that asshole behavior triggers evo-psych mating instincts in women.
In fact, behavior is much more successful as a mating strategy – prosocial behavior benefits the group overall.
And while the asshole may well not be as good of a match for her as the dogged nice guy, he still is the one who actually If you like someone, then you want to be the guy who actually makes his move.
The asshole may not like her as much, but he actually took his shot.