Dating for liberals
" My date avoids answering, but loves Trump's wall idea. The topic on the radio is the growing political divide in America. After a month of what I can only call too-much-too-fast, he broke things off, and I was back to searching for love.
He also tells me that birth control is a sin, that global warming isn't real, and that the only reason there's a pay gap is because women choose lower-paying jobs. A caller mentions that many people refuse to date someone from the opposing party. Verifying their political ideology without making it weird isn't. Except this time, I'm looking on both sides of the aisle.
But how to become one of 66% of these online daters who have actually gone on a date, or part of the 23% who have met a long term partner or spouse through an online platform, you ask?
The first step, of course, is to make sure you are using the right site for you — because, really, what is worse than mentioning on a first date that you volunteer at Planned Parenthood escorting women through abortion protesters only to learn that your Casanova worships at the altar of Todd Aken?
"She was trashing Clinton, and he was trashing Bush," Coleman says. "But Coleman says values often go deeper than politics.
They're still very different in their political views, but they respect one another. I mention this to Coleman, and she concedes that relationships usually work better when similarities outweigh differences.
But I also don't want to scream after the date, and that seems like progress. He also seems legitimately interested in what I have to say. We somehow end up talking about those tiny minimalist houses, and both agree that we would live in one. Then I wonder why I'm mulling over statistics on our first date. I connected with someone despite our different politics. I don't even make it out for drinks with another guy—an unsolicited dick pic halts any possible romance.
If you actually went to one of his rallies, you would realize that he says a lot of great things." Me: "What are some of the good things he says? I'm listening to NPR when I'm forced to self-examine. Politics didn't bring us together, and it didn't keep us together.
She mentions Mary Matalin, a Republican political strategist. These are the things that really matter in terms of relationships, in my experience." Her advice is pretty obvious. She's telling me to shut up and listen to my dates before judging them. I match with a guy whose Tinder bio reads "political dabbler." He tells me he appreciated my swiping advice. " Political Dabbler: "I certainly did." Me: "Smart man. He likes whiskey and John Wayne movies, neither of which I have much experience in—I'm a strong, independent woman who likes her fruity drinks.
"I'm sure the thought of being with a Trump supporter makes you ill," she says. "But I also see an awful lot of people make it work," Coleman says. I ask Coleman what I should do to find those commonalities. Don't bring up any controversial topics," Coleman says. Learn a little bit about where they come from, where they're going, how they see themselves.
He didn't give statistics—I didn't even catch the guy's name—but it rings true to me. One guy loves Ayn Rand (good start) but then later says he's voting for Bernie (odd). There are connections far more important than politics.
I've heard "I would never date a Republican" from several friends, and if I'm being honest, I've heard it from me, too. Another is a libertarian, which I decide doesn't count because I am most likely to get agitated over differences in social issues. I may not have personally proven it—but I believe it.