Dating a guy who never had a girlfriend

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They also had an inability to care about someone for any length of time, or emotionally engage with a relationship in a healthy manner. For years, I’d been under the false assumption that this was “my type.” Must be. Only after taking inventory did I recognize that I had agency in that decision. So after months of trying to reorient myself, I finally asked my oldest friend for help. He has seen me through my ultra-nerdy high school years, and has watched me attempt to date for the entirety of my adulthood. ” I asked him one night during a heart-to-heart about dating, covering both his habits and mine. “Super-outgoing and friendly is what I imagine for you—and that’s huge, because I feel like you don’t go for outgoing people,” he said of my brooding M. I’d made mostly new friends since the spring—the breakup and a depleted post-grad friend group had required it.

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I was numb to new prospects, and unsure what I was looking for.I wasn’t taking late-night phone calls to argue or vent. It dawned on me that the same principle applied to my romantic relationships.Maybe relationships weren’t about fixing a person at all. So with the dawn of 2016, I actually started to think about what I needed in a relationship—not what I wanted or was instantly drawn toward, but the qualities that would make me feel safe and supported.He was sweet and upbeat, talkative and seemingly driven.I nodded along to his stories as I took bites of my pasta, methodically peppering him with questions while revealing very little about myself.

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